I love this song so much. and Miranda Lambert. and I hope her and Kelly tour because they both love each other and it would be amazing.
"The House That Built Me"
I know they say you cant go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these hand prints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From Better Homes and Garden magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won?t take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Playing Games
I gotta stop. If I am even playing, that is.
I feel like lately I am one of those shake-up snow globes and every few days, someone shakes me and all my thoughts and feelings and desires are just everywhere and I don't know what to do.
and then I wake up and I am all settled...
until I get shaken again.
I feel like lately I am one of those shake-up snow globes and every few days, someone shakes me and all my thoughts and feelings and desires are just everywhere and I don't know what to do.
and then I wake up and I am all settled...
until I get shaken again.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Music is therapy.
I owe thanks to 2 of my favorite ARTISTS:
Kelly for covering this song so I was reintroduced to it, and Alanis for writing it.
Music is my life and this song speaks volumes, even Kelly's version which transitions into Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody."
I suggest you watch both performances.
These women are amazing.
Kelly for covering this song so I was reintroduced to it, and Alanis for writing it.
Music is my life and this song speaks volumes, even Kelly's version which transitions into Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody."
I suggest you watch both performances.
These women are amazing.
Friday, January 22, 2010
When I Grow Up...
I want to work in the music industry. NOT as a singer/performer, HA! Haven't played violin in a year which is depressing actually, and that is my only talent. But at a record label, or on a tour, or just ANYONE behind the scenes of the music industry. It fascinates me and I love it. Yes part of this has to do with my love for Kelly Clarkson, but honestly, she has opened me up to other performers I wouldn't necessarily appreciate without her approval. She has also allowed me enough of a look at the music scene and how it works and it is just something I would love to be a part of.
I had no idea how many aspects of the music industry had to come together to just promote an artist or to get a song on the radio until I started following Kelly SO closely, to realize how many factors are dealt with. I love trying to guess which songs on the radio will be successful. I love seeing how label and management promotion help an album or single to succeed. I would LOVE to be involved with some sort of art design/stylist assistance to an artist, to fit certain themes for certain moods or performances they are shooting for, whether it's a photoshoot or a special performance of a song.
It has been made apparent to me that my heart is just not in teaching, obviously, since I just majored in it since I had nothing else to major in. I love kids and will always have a PASSION for kids, it's just teaching does not bring out the best in me. And at this time in the world, especially the state of California, there are just so many negative things that one has to consider before attempting a career in education. It's so political now and the schools are in such horrible shape. One may say that's why they need great teachers all the more, however, I think there are way better prospective teachers out there, a lot of them are my peers, that would do a better job than I would.
When I think about teaching, I automatically think "ugh how long am I going to be able to HANDLE that?"
When I think about a career in the music industry, I automatically think "how long would I GET to do that?!"
I know the whole music industry thing isn't practical or realistic. People always ask if you could do one thing for the rest of your life and be happy with your job, what would it be? Easily, if I had the right job in the music industry, it would be that. However, I realize I am being very naive, as I do not honestly realize how the job WOULD be. I am sure there are aspects of it I would not like and you never know anything until you try it really, but that is what excites me.
So as they taught me in elementary school, I want to "dream big" and "shoot for the stars" and maybe my dream can come true someday.
Except I have no idea where to even start. This is where prayer comes in to play, especially with graduation rapidly approaching on May 29th.
I had no idea how many aspects of the music industry had to come together to just promote an artist or to get a song on the radio until I started following Kelly SO closely, to realize how many factors are dealt with. I love trying to guess which songs on the radio will be successful. I love seeing how label and management promotion help an album or single to succeed. I would LOVE to be involved with some sort of art design/stylist assistance to an artist, to fit certain themes for certain moods or performances they are shooting for, whether it's a photoshoot or a special performance of a song.
It has been made apparent to me that my heart is just not in teaching, obviously, since I just majored in it since I had nothing else to major in. I love kids and will always have a PASSION for kids, it's just teaching does not bring out the best in me. And at this time in the world, especially the state of California, there are just so many negative things that one has to consider before attempting a career in education. It's so political now and the schools are in such horrible shape. One may say that's why they need great teachers all the more, however, I think there are way better prospective teachers out there, a lot of them are my peers, that would do a better job than I would.
When I think about teaching, I automatically think "ugh how long am I going to be able to HANDLE that?"
When I think about a career in the music industry, I automatically think "how long would I GET to do that?!"
I know the whole music industry thing isn't practical or realistic. People always ask if you could do one thing for the rest of your life and be happy with your job, what would it be? Easily, if I had the right job in the music industry, it would be that. However, I realize I am being very naive, as I do not honestly realize how the job WOULD be. I am sure there are aspects of it I would not like and you never know anything until you try it really, but that is what excites me.
So as they taught me in elementary school, I want to "dream big" and "shoot for the stars" and maybe my dream can come true someday.
Except I have no idea where to even start. This is where prayer comes in to play, especially with graduation rapidly approaching on May 29th.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy 2010!
Sitting here in the hotel room in Oklahoma. I walked to a McDonalds today and it was surreal. All white people working there, most had missing teeth, and I was the one with an accent?! Also they just STARED at me like I was a celebrity. I was wearing a black coat, jeans, and boots. I need to go back to California. Can't believe I am spending my New Years Eve in a hotel room.
First of all 2009 was amazing. I am going to try to recap month by month.
January: What I thought would be a super boring interterm, turned out to be an awesome everyday hang out in the dorm with my RA who ended up being my housemate and an awesome friend. Also Kelly's new single came out and made history by going from 97 to number 1.
February: I got an awesome surprise when my favorite Oregonian, Maddie, got to make a surprise visit to California for her 21st birthday. We went to Disneyland, took her Chick-Fil-A virginity, and she ordered her first drinks at BJ's while all of us Biolans watched.
March: I was freaking out about housing at this time because my then roommate was supposed to be graduating (wow, that is a different story now), and I had NO ONE to live with for senior year. Then plans were made to live in a house with some awesome people, and I had never been happier. Also Kelly's new cd came out this month, and I bought it opening night.
April: Had an interview with Campus Safety...obviously after many more interviews, they decided I was the one they wanted and I work there now. Not very much because I like my other job better, but somehow they still keep me around. Also I turned 21 this month but it wasn't that great.
May: WANGO TANGO! Bry, Abby, and I went and saw many acts, including Flo Rida, Soulja Boy, All American Rejects, Jamie Foxx, Black Eyed Peas, Pitbull, Lady Gaga, and KELLY! It was so awesome that we promised to go again next year even though Kelly won't be there. Seriously, it was just 6 hours of non stop fun and surprise guests. The surprise guests we saw were like all of my favorite people, and I flipped out everytime: SHAWN JOHNSON, cast of SECRET LIFE, cast of THE HILLS....ah best day ever. Also this month, during finals time, my sister broke down in LA, my roommate totaled her car in a huge accident, and I had to move out of my dorm in 3 hours (locked myself out of my car while doing so and they were in the bathroom the whole time).
June: Officially moved into the Poner house. We went line dancing at a place called InCahoots. Haha. probably one of the funniest nights out ever. I also started working at Campus Safety and decided I didn't like it that much. I also got a raise at my other job so I worked there instead. Also this month, a guy I dated decided we would be great if we got back together. I didn't take him up on his offer, but I did get some free seasons of Arrested Development out of that.
July: Saw Kelly from the closest seats I had had at that point. It was so amazing for me. Also went to the OC fair. Also had a white trash 4th of July party at the house. Also got a new camera which I still adore. Also the church I had been attending disbanded and I still miss seeing those guys every week.
August: Visited Maddie and her family for 10 days in Portland! Then went to Disneyland and Catalina for my mom's birthday. Started school.
September: Ditched my stupid PC and bought a Mac and have been pretty happy. Also got to take some of my favorite friends to a free Kelly concert in Hollywood and it was soooo fun. Also saw Britney Spears and Jordin Sparks at the Staples Center. Pretty awesome, but I just realized I am spoiled because I see Kelly so much that when I see other acts, it just does not compare. I also recognized another Kelly fan at the mall and 2 of my housemates decided this was too much and I had to go 9 days without ANY Kelly. It was difficult, but hilarious. I had to write an essay too.
October: One of my best friends Ashley came to visit me here at school. My awesome, super-fit friends, Jess and Abby, ran a half marathon.
November: Went to Vegas to see Kelly. Abby turned 21. Thanksgiving with my mom's side in Palm Springs. Bridgette turned 20.
December: Saw Kelly from 3rd row in Fresno with my mom. She loved it. I loved it. It was awesome. She sang my all time favorite song that she never sings, ONLY AT THE FRESNO SHOW. I still get goosebumps thinking about how lucky I am that she sang that at that show. Finished up crazy finals and the fall semester. My cousins celebrated first birthdays and a 3rd birthday and I can't get enough of them. Saw my dad, had a good Christmas, and am now in Oklahoma.
Hopefully 2010 is just as good, but it will be hard to top this year. I can't believe the year of my college graduation is finally here. In high school, this year seemed a decade away.
Stay tuned for my best moments of the decade post.
First of all 2009 was amazing. I am going to try to recap month by month.
January: What I thought would be a super boring interterm, turned out to be an awesome everyday hang out in the dorm with my RA who ended up being my housemate and an awesome friend. Also Kelly's new single came out and made history by going from 97 to number 1.
February: I got an awesome surprise when my favorite Oregonian, Maddie, got to make a surprise visit to California for her 21st birthday. We went to Disneyland, took her Chick-Fil-A virginity, and she ordered her first drinks at BJ's while all of us Biolans watched.
March: I was freaking out about housing at this time because my then roommate was supposed to be graduating (wow, that is a different story now), and I had NO ONE to live with for senior year. Then plans were made to live in a house with some awesome people, and I had never been happier. Also Kelly's new cd came out this month, and I bought it opening night.
April: Had an interview with Campus Safety...obviously after many more interviews, they decided I was the one they wanted and I work there now. Not very much because I like my other job better, but somehow they still keep me around. Also I turned 21 this month but it wasn't that great.
May: WANGO TANGO! Bry, Abby, and I went and saw many acts, including Flo Rida, Soulja Boy, All American Rejects, Jamie Foxx, Black Eyed Peas, Pitbull, Lady Gaga, and KELLY! It was so awesome that we promised to go again next year even though Kelly won't be there. Seriously, it was just 6 hours of non stop fun and surprise guests. The surprise guests we saw were like all of my favorite people, and I flipped out everytime: SHAWN JOHNSON, cast of SECRET LIFE, cast of THE HILLS....ah best day ever. Also this month, during finals time, my sister broke down in LA, my roommate totaled her car in a huge accident, and I had to move out of my dorm in 3 hours (locked myself out of my car while doing so and they were in the bathroom the whole time).
June: Officially moved into the Poner house. We went line dancing at a place called InCahoots. Haha. probably one of the funniest nights out ever. I also started working at Campus Safety and decided I didn't like it that much. I also got a raise at my other job so I worked there instead. Also this month, a guy I dated decided we would be great if we got back together. I didn't take him up on his offer, but I did get some free seasons of Arrested Development out of that.
July: Saw Kelly from the closest seats I had had at that point. It was so amazing for me. Also went to the OC fair. Also had a white trash 4th of July party at the house. Also got a new camera which I still adore. Also the church I had been attending disbanded and I still miss seeing those guys every week.
August: Visited Maddie and her family for 10 days in Portland! Then went to Disneyland and Catalina for my mom's birthday. Started school.
September: Ditched my stupid PC and bought a Mac and have been pretty happy. Also got to take some of my favorite friends to a free Kelly concert in Hollywood and it was soooo fun. Also saw Britney Spears and Jordin Sparks at the Staples Center. Pretty awesome, but I just realized I am spoiled because I see Kelly so much that when I see other acts, it just does not compare. I also recognized another Kelly fan at the mall and 2 of my housemates decided this was too much and I had to go 9 days without ANY Kelly. It was difficult, but hilarious. I had to write an essay too.
October: One of my best friends Ashley came to visit me here at school. My awesome, super-fit friends, Jess and Abby, ran a half marathon.
November: Went to Vegas to see Kelly. Abby turned 21. Thanksgiving with my mom's side in Palm Springs. Bridgette turned 20.
December: Saw Kelly from 3rd row in Fresno with my mom. She loved it. I loved it. It was awesome. She sang my all time favorite song that she never sings, ONLY AT THE FRESNO SHOW. I still get goosebumps thinking about how lucky I am that she sang that at that show. Finished up crazy finals and the fall semester. My cousins celebrated first birthdays and a 3rd birthday and I can't get enough of them. Saw my dad, had a good Christmas, and am now in Oklahoma.
Hopefully 2010 is just as good, but it will be hard to top this year. I can't believe the year of my college graduation is finally here. In high school, this year seemed a decade away.
Stay tuned for my best moments of the decade post.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thankful
That there are people left in the music industry with morals and credibility. And who thank God in each of their albums...I love to see how this individual started out and never lost sight of what is important.
"First and foremost, I want to thank God. This past year has been such a blessing and I haven't taken one thing for granted. I am thankful every day, not just for the past year, but also for my family, friends and life." Thankful. April 2003.
"God, you are so gracious and giving, there are no words to describe my love and passion for you. These past couple of years have been a bit hard and so crazy and I thank You for being with me and teaching me to just let things go and give them up to you.. because no matter how strong I think I am, I CANNOT do anything without you." Breakaway. November 2004.
"First, I want to thank God, Jesus and whatever force has been keeping me sane in this crazy world. I know you're up there and on my side and there have been times when I know that's the only thing that is keeping me going..." My December. June 2007.
"Thank You God for every breath, every miracle, and every gift you have given me when I am so undeserving. At the end of the day, we might not be perfect, we might not always win, and we might screw up big time...but we are here and here for the right reasons, and that's what counts." All I Ever Wanted. March 2009.
That is probably the biggest reason why I look up to her. She inspires me to be better and she is way out of her time in today's music. Can't wait to see what she does when she leaves her record label.
Merry Christmas.
She recorded that for her mom for Christmas.
"First and foremost, I want to thank God. This past year has been such a blessing and I haven't taken one thing for granted. I am thankful every day, not just for the past year, but also for my family, friends and life." Thankful. April 2003.
"God, you are so gracious and giving, there are no words to describe my love and passion for you. These past couple of years have been a bit hard and so crazy and I thank You for being with me and teaching me to just let things go and give them up to you.. because no matter how strong I think I am, I CANNOT do anything without you." Breakaway. November 2004.
"First, I want to thank God, Jesus and whatever force has been keeping me sane in this crazy world. I know you're up there and on my side and there have been times when I know that's the only thing that is keeping me going..." My December. June 2007.
"Thank You God for every breath, every miracle, and every gift you have given me when I am so undeserving. At the end of the day, we might not be perfect, we might not always win, and we might screw up big time...but we are here and here for the right reasons, and that's what counts." All I Ever Wanted. March 2009.
That is probably the biggest reason why I look up to her. She inspires me to be better and she is way out of her time in today's music. Can't wait to see what she does when she leaves her record label.
Merry Christmas.
She recorded that for her mom for Christmas.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Brandi Carlile
is amazing. (I know huh, I actually like other artists besides Kelly. If only you knew how into music I was...)
I love, love, love Brandi's voice and her songs. And I can't stop listening to this one. It's called "My Song."
Everything I do surrounds these pieces of my life that often change
Or maybe I've changed
Sometimes seeming happy can be self destructive even when you're sane
Or only insane
But don't bother waking me today
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung...
But this is my song
It is my song
Now I live every day like there will never be a last one till they're gone
And they're gone
I'm too proud to beg for your attention and your friendship and your time
So you can come and get it from now on
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung...
But this is my song
It is my song
And it's you
It is you
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
I'm not sure I can take it
I'm nothing strong to hold to
I'll wait to only hate you
My mind is full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung
But this is my song
I love, love, love Brandi's voice and her songs. And I can't stop listening to this one. It's called "My Song."
Everything I do surrounds these pieces of my life that often change
Or maybe I've changed
Sometimes seeming happy can be self destructive even when you're sane
Or only insane
But don't bother waking me today
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung...
But this is my song
It is my song
Now I live every day like there will never be a last one till they're gone
And they're gone
I'm too proud to beg for your attention and your friendship and your time
So you can come and get it from now on
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung...
But this is my song
It is my song
And it's you
It is you
Here I am
I'm so young
I know I've been bitter, I've been jaded, I'm alone
Every day I'll bite my tongue
If you only knew my mind was full of razors
I'm not sure I can take it
I'm nothing strong to hold to
I'll wait to only hate you
My mind is full of razors
That cuts you like a word if only sung
But this is my song
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