I am blessed.

Very blessed, to have so many people in my life that are awesome and care about me. I have always been the girl that goes through best friends though. Kindergarden, fourth grade, fifth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade...all were different best friends. Then enter Biola where I have kinda drifted from that stage. I have many great friends...great friends.

But it's hard when you don't have someone super close. I think everyone needs that.

So if you have an awesome best friend, thank the Lord for them tonight.

I'm not trying to be debbie downer, I just think it's hard to keep venting to a blog and have no one that truly knows me, like that's been there for major events through the years. Like when something huge happens, I wouldn't know who I would call first, no matter what. And I want to know/have that.

But honestly though, I lay in bed at night and just think about all the awesome people in my life. I have a good life right now so leave this post on a good note. I had a good day being stupid with Heather and Lindsey and making up things to do....let's leave it at that.

Fathers Day

Today is Fathers Day. Doesn't mean much for me except I send my dad a card and call him. He sounds worse everytime I talk to him. It really worries me since he lives all alone up in Idaho and won't go to the doctor that much. He better make his yearly visit soon. I really want him to move here before he is unable to do so. He is not much of a 'father', and he hardly knows me, but I am blessed to have contact with him still.

My boss is going on vacation this whole week. Which means I literally get to go to work all week and do nothing, except answer the phone and pray that no one has a serious problem that can't wait til next week. Sometimes it gets stressful, since it IS insurance, but it's more stressful for me now that the other secretary is kinda new (not really but that's a different story) and relies heavily on me for everything she does. I expect more calls at home (yes that's right, I said MORE. as in more than I already get). What I'm saying is that I will enjoy this next week at work because I won't have actual assignments to work on and I won't have to pretend to be busy when I'm done. I also just got another raise at this job, which is so great but I am pretty sure I am leaving this job for campus safety in the fall, and my boss has no idea. It's tearing me apart because both jobs have such great pros and few cons. My boss at this job has done so much for me and now I am making more money and I also know how everything works at this job and he relies on me for a lot. So it's really hard to think about leaving. I've been there 2 years in August. That is crazy to me. It just makes me ask myself, do I want to leave a job where I know how everything runs and make good money, or do I want a change of pace at a job where I have to learn so many new things but have the convenience of working on campus? Ugh.

Campus safety job is going well too. I got golf cart trained last week which was like my driving test all over again, which is weird to take when you have been driving for five years now. I will probably not drive the golf cart that much. At least I hope not. I will get distracted easily and stop and talk to people. It will be a disaster.

I am really enjoying summer but feel like I still don't have the time I want yet to do the things I wanted to. I am taking 2 online classes and have so much due tomorrow night. I need to work ahead on these classes but that's almost impossible for me. If I didn't have these classes, I would be catching up on SO many shows online, and editing videos, and organizing. But I do get to spend my free time doing other awesome things with my housemates, like watching Friends (we are on season 6 ahhh!) or playing 'the headphone game' (you turn it up so loud so you can't hear yourself and then just sing your heart out. it's my new favorite) or sneaking into hot tubs :)

I went to a new church today since my old one is officially coming to an end (even though I wasn't going anymore really :/). I have been going on Wednesdays though since summer started and this wednesday is the last. I am really going to miss it, I love all those guys. It was a good place. The new church though is called Reality LA and it's pretty awesome. It's just so hard to get a feeling of a 'home church'. I feel like I will never have that feeling like I did with my old church in Visalia. It just reminds me that things change. I also saw people last time I was home and I feel like they are still the same as they were in high school. It was almost insulting to me. They just wanted to gossip and it's like they have no room for a change in perspective. They were even talking about some people I am friends with now that we went to high school with. All of that really makes me long for true friends too. Even though I get lonely sometimes, I just think about where I was at this point last year and how extremely lucky I am to have great friends now.

Well I should stop stalling and get to some homework. I will leave you with 2 beautiful pictures of my friend Kelly, from an awards show earlier tonight! I will meet her someday. She is my best friend. Shut up.

Hard to say no.

I get lonely sometimes and this current situation I am in is not helping.

But I've got people keeping me in line so I don't give in.

I can't give in. I have to believe better things will come.

I have a new found hate for...

prank phone calls.

Especially on a touchy subject like creepy neighbors.

It ruined a perfectly good night for me and if I find out who did it, you can bet your life our friendship is over. I know my close friends and family wouldn't do that to me so it's someone that knows me but not very well obviously. I have no respect for you. You have no idea how it felt to be on the other end of that phone call.

Anyways, moving right along...

I am digital camera shopping and having a blast. I just discovered some cameras that have HD video capabilities. For those of you who know me, I loooooove videotaping. This is a dream come true. I can't wait til I have the camera, but now the question is, who is going to make videos with me? hahahaha. I think I decided on the Canon SD780 though. 12.1 megapixels and HD video:

gosh, it's hard to be patient. but I'm working on it. and i'm not talking about the cameras.

Firsts

A few firsts lately.

First day of work at campus safety. I have access to so many things, it fascinates me. A guy in a suit took me around for a tour of Biola. Like I haven't gone there for 3 years. But he took me in disbatch and the field office and told me all these codes for places that made me wanna crack up, but I held it together. He also took me to every place possible in Metzger (the administration building) and introduced me to all these people I will be delivering to. I was also told I will be driving a golf cart sometimes. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? C'mon. That kills me. I can't take myself seriously on that. It's like those people in the mall that ride segways, right Madge? right.

First time getting called a slut by the other secretary at my other job. Ima kill her. I was stoked about a new blouse I had bought the previous day. It was a tank top, but it was still a nice, dressy shirt. It had ruffles and floral print ok? It was also hot and I had just gotten out of my car and had a freakin cardigan in my HAND, ready to put on when I sat down. But I walked in, and she looked at me and said 'is it really that hot out that you need to be wearing that?'. OKAY lady, not only are you hurting my feelings, but you are not my mother and it is not appropriate to say that in front of my male boss. Also, my hair was down too, which covers most of my shoulders.

First time playing some games with the housemates. That was a fun night. I'm sure there will be more.

First time cooking shake n' bake chicken for dinner tonight. I did pretty good.

First time doing 2.25 miles on the treadmill. I probably only ran 1.75 of that but it feels good. I for sure haven't done anything like that since softball hell weeks. Oh gosh I have cramps just thinking about those days. I was so fit back then...

Ok so I need to write the most recent and hopefully LAST of the Mike Diaries.

Mike had his head propped up on our fence, just watching us hang out one afternoon. When he was spotted doing this, 2 of the Ponies (housemates) decided enough was enough and to go talk to his parents. Mike answered the door himself and went outside, saying 'talking to his parents isn't going to solve anything'. Then he started listing all of the things wrong with him and which is why he doesn't understand 'social norms'. False Mike. False. You understand not to come in contact with us when parents are here, therefore that's enough to understand not to watch us constantly. We can't stop him watching us from inside the house, but we did tell him we were uncomfortable when he watched us like that. He then said (are you ready?) "I am not going to lie, I was pretty excited when I found out 6 attractive girls were moving in next door, and I know probably most of you have boyfriends and there is a 99.9% chance that no one will want to date me, but I just wanna put it out there if anyone is interested". He was immediately told that we all had boyfriends (false). He asked if he could just be neighborly and say hi and be invited in (NO. NO.) and they told him 'why don't you let us initiate that'. woo. so since then, there have only been 2 encounters, one telling us about trash day (probably just an excuse to talk to us cause he misses us), and another telling us we were too loud and the dog was wound up (it was 9pm and he had let the dog out himself hahahhaa). So if there are any more problems, I think we should just call the police so that we can at least file a report in case we need to call the police on him in the future.

After hearing this story, my boss told me he is going to buy me mace. hahahahahhahahhaa. I love it. Did I mention how lucky I am to have a great boss at both jobs? At campus safety, she is the sweetest lady, such a motherly figure. She is asking if everyone is ok and giving us crackers and juice. And she already calls me Deb and said I picked up the computer work faster than most people have.

That just makes me cringe at the thought of picking which job to quit in the fall. I am already MAJORLY stressing over which one. Both have super pros and cons. It's awful.

Anyways, my life is awesomeeeeeee.

Summer Shows:

Gilmore Girls (I love watching them starting from season one).
Friends (Ponies and I watch it everynight since some hadn't seen the show. We are already on season 3).
Glee. (I've heard good things. Very good things. I am aware this is a fall show).
One Tree Hill (never seen it but I bet I would love it).
So You Think You Can Dance (ahhh I love it and they are promoting Kelly like no other already).
The Hills (haven't seen it since season 2. They have played EIGHT of Kelly's new songs this season. EIGHT. Also, I know Lauren is officially gone, but Kristin is coming to take over and she has always entertained me haha.)
The Office (soooo behind!!!!!)
Greys Anatomy (I gotta watch from the beginning).
Gossip Girl (again, sooo behind! I have been keeping up with the books though. kinda.)

Crap I better get started! I'm also trying to get my hands on Twilight so I can read the books and then watch the movie.

My posts are too long. Just cut them up into sections and pretend I post everyday.

Goodbye Junior Year...

Wow my life moves exponentially…finished the hardest semester ever. I can’t even remember how many papers I wrote in the last 3 weeks…eleven? Twelve? I did homework six days out of the week usually for that last month of school. It was incredibly stressful, I remember fearing for my heart one day because it wouldn’t slow down. Right before finals, my sister broke down in downtown LA so had to go rescue her and pay a homeless man to fix her car. The next day we went to the Ellen show (the day after Kelly was there of course, gosh fkalewaowiajdhjakcbn) and didn’t get in the main audience but got guaranteed tickets for the fall (which is way better actually because Jamie Foxx was there and we had just seen him at Wango Tango). On the way home from Ellen we got hit on by a guy trying to sell us a car cleaner. He asked for my number and I said ‘sorry but you can give me yours!’ haha. He said ‘I know I look ugly righ t now but I get it, I get it’. Yeah, you are, sorry. You are also tryingto sell me something and then hitting on my afterwards. So then that night we get back and I am locked out of my room. We call my roomie to see where she is and she answers the phone in hysterics because she was just in a horrible car accident. I went down there right away, after getting in my room first of course, oh and my phone had died during all of this as well. Her huge suv was up on the median and totaled. The other driver was taken away in an ambulance. It was awful. The next night I had to move stuff into the house and pick furniture up in Long Beach. But before that my sister and I had to get into a huge screaming match of course. Basically, I wanted her to go home and she just kept hanging around. She doesn’t have a job and doesn’t like being at home…I get that. But don’t come bug me for days during my incredibly stressful time. So that was my weekend before finals.

But now I am done, and am praying for B’s in all my classes. Jess came and visited for the last week and I hardly got to see her due to my workload, but we did get to go to Disneyland.

Finally after all of that, I could start moving out of the dorms and into the house Saturday. It took for…ev…er. My mom didn’t get here til 3pm Saturday and I had to be out by 6pm. Ugh. Then my roommate and her ENTIRE stressful family (SIX of them were there) were in my dorm room trying to pack her up so of course that means I am automatically demoted to staying out of the way and not being able to do anything. By the time they leave, I have 2 hours left to pack most of it. Right when my mom arrived I realized my keys fell out of my pocket recently and now I can’t locate them. I retraced my steps and asked at the offices for an entire hour. Thus, if you are doing the math correctly, I have an hour left to get out of the dorm now. But keep in mind my keys are lost which means I am now locked out of my car, which is parked in the fire zone in front of the dorm. My mom tries to break in with a coat hanger, then we just load up her car for awhile, and finally we call AAA and they let me in right away. So I get my spare key which solves that problem I guess. But by this time, check out is closed and I start freaking out that I'm going to get fined. I finally get all my stuff out and just decide to deal with it in the morning, and everything worked out fine.

Moved everything into the Poner house and still haven't completely unpacked. It's awesome here, I love it. I love the people too. Except Mike. Screw him. I need to write another Mike Diaries soon, so don't let me forget.

Wednesday night we had our first official outing as housemates haha. We went LINE DANCING at a bar/club place in Fullerton called In Cahoots. We had no idea what to expect and that was the best part. We dressed up and practiced in the kitchen and then we were off. There were like 12 of us total. It was probably the most fun I've had in so long. Just the sight of our group out on the dance floor, doing everything wrong while everyone else knew all the steps to every stupid line dance hahaha. I can't wait til the next time. I love this summer so far.

I think I'm gonna like it here.

I hope my kids have someone to look up to like Kelly...

Kelly Clarkson doesn't care what you - or the gossip blogs, for that matter - think about her appearance. In fact, Clarkson doesn't even have time to worry about it, as she's too busy making music and touring to even get online.

"I'm rarely on the Internet. I blog every once in a while 'cause my fans will yell at me if I don't," she told MTV News. "I check my e-mail on my phone ... I'm never really on the Internet."

She admits that although she is more offended when people criticize her music, she has caught a glimpse of what people have said about her looks and she admits that it does hurt. "I mean, I'm a person, so obviously it hurts you at some point on some level - but I think I've been this girl since I was on 'Idol.' I'm the same person," she said. "I ain't gonna change. It's apples and oranges. Some people like it, some people don't."

She added that she prefers to read books instead of gossip blogs and says that after seven years in the industry, she isn't ready to change. "I mean, I've never been that girl and I've been in the industry for seven years, so obviously everybody doesn't do it," she said. "I just think it's blown up - I think it's become a world of its own. It's a different thing and the industry is changing."

THIS. is why she is the best singer/role model/celebrity there is.

she should be my best friend. I don't know what's taking her so long.