I need a GPS for life.

The only thing I had on my plate has a 5% chance of surviving.

Long story short, I could have had 2 different sub jobs going for me, but I am waiting on my credential to be processed before I apply with the sub paperwork. Problem is, subs have to apply before January 12 to make it for the February orientation (the sub job was middle of February). My credential won’t be processed by then, so unless I pay some fees and get hired as a non-credentialed employee, I can’t sub. That seems dumb to me though when my credential is literally in limbo and I also don’t have the money to spare as I have been jobless for 5 months.

Feeling frustrated, angry, useless, lost, sad…Been praying non-stop for weeks for God’s direction and will for my life right now and can’t hear it.

Don’t want to move home, don’t want to change states, but I am struggling here. Don’t like my options and feel like my hard work and schooling were such a WASTE when my options are the same as a teenager’s, and I am going to end up BABYSITTING.

I know a lot of people go through this after graduation, but one of the reasons I majored in education was because I wanted to do it and because YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING A JOB. There are no ‘what ifs’, you either teach or you don’t. And I don’t get to right now. I just feel like going in a different direction will lead to me never looking back at this profession.

I hate you California. For the first time in my life, I hate you.