Spring Semester.

Is probably going to suck.

probably.

Not as much as next year though.

and definitely not as much as after I graduate and have no place to live or go.

I just need good, close friends. stat.

and I also need to stay sane with my roommate.

2009

You know what I really needed recently? friends. not a lot, just a few. I only have a few so I just needed a few more so I wasn't so lonely. Some friends that would do things with me, and hang out with me, ya know. I have 2 really good friends at home, one in Oregon, a couple at Long Beach state, and a few at Biola. So pretty much all I had most the time was the few at Biola, whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong, they are some of theee best. But it was so hard as they were making lots and lots of friends and I was just....not. one of the Biola friends is studying abroad in Costa Rica this semester. amazing for her. she's great. but I was dreading this for awhile as I knew it would dramatically affect my social life and eating meals in the Caf (as lame as that sounds). I was really getting sick of this friend situation, especially when I go to church and everyone would say 'bring your friends!' and I'm like 'uh k, you know I don't know people and if I did they wouldn't come'. I don't know why I'm bad at making friends. I didn't have that many in high school. I did softball, golf, track, and orchestra. I was fairly well liked though I think, cause I knew everybody and I would talk to them and it was cool, but that doesn't mean we hung out. I had more church friends than school friends, but I had to wait until senior year for those church friends, because I had to break away from my clique I was in to really step into being friends with my youth group. Anyways, what I'm saying is I've never had A LOT of friends. I am perfectly nice to people, talk to them in class, and smile as we pass by. But that doesn't mean we go hang out afterwards. My only chance was when my friends would make friends and introduce them to me. But then I would come off as a weirdo because I was already with my friends and acting like myself and they probably saw it as rude. Who knows. It's pretty obvious I must not make a good first impression. Or I'm very scary or intimidating (or as one guy told me, ATTIMIDATING, HAHAHAHA). So that's why I am just ecstatic right now that as I have been here for my winter class (January 5th-22nd), working every day and then classwork, I was able to hang out with a few people. Last interterm, there was no one around. I would just go to school, go to work, come home, eat a tv dinner, do my homework, watch tv, and go to bed. every day. on the weekends I would sleep or watch more tv. I remember sleeping until 5pm one day just because I remember thinking 'why get up'. Anyways, I have really wanted to hang out with these new people and can't believe that God gave me that. I never thought I would be able to. I mean imagine, ME, actually being friends with someone she wants to. Anyways, it's been a blessing and I can't remember laughing as much as I have lately. Today I cried for almost 5 minutes straight when we were hanging out. I need that in my life. Badly. And there isn't a better time than right now. God is so good. I can only HOPE I get to keep hanging out once in awhile when the regular semester begins next week.

Best & Worst of 2008

As the year comes to an end, I am going to reflect on my favorite, and not so favorite, moments in different categories. This hopefully will fascinate you as much as it has me this year. We can call this the Deb Awards.

Historical Moments:
-When gas was $4.69 a gallon here, I wanted to die.
-Gas got down to $1.55 here in SoCal.
-Heath Ledger died.
-Barack Obama was elected the first African American president of the United States.
-Proposition 8 passed in California. Gay marriage was made illegal again.
-The crazy wild fires that surronded us in Southern California this semester.
-Talking on your cell phone while driving is no more.
-Clay Aiken came out. I was devastated hahaha.
-My man Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals at the Olympics, while Shawn Johnson and Nastia did serious damage in women's gymnastics.

Female Singers:
-Rihanna (I think 'Disturbia' was definitely one of the songs of the year)
-Britney Spears (OK I am sorry, but she made a great comeback and I can't stop listening)
-Adele (great voice)
-P!nk (hated her song 'Dear Mr. President' last year, but love the new album)
-Taylor Swift (love, love, LOVE)
-Beyonce

*honarable mention-Carrie Underwood (as much as I hate to admit it, her singles were good).

Also many debuted like Katy Perry, Ingrid Michaelson, Sara Bareilles, and Lady Gaga.

Male Singers:
-OneRepublic (quickly became one of my most listened to albums of the year)
-Kanye West (No matter how arrogant he is, he is a great musician and performer.)
-David Cook (I wasn't that into him during American Idol, but now he is like a male Kelly!)
-Jason Mraz (long time fan, not so fond of the radio's constant overplay of 'I'm Yours')
-Rascal Flatts (always puts out songs I love)
-Phil Wickham (also couldn't stop listening to his cd)

*honorable mention-Jon McLaughlin (even though he didn't really have a new single, his performance in 'Enchanted' was enough for me)

Songs to Remember (cause they won't be leaving your head soon):
-Low (Flo Rida featuring T Pain)
-I Kissed A Girl (Katy Perry)
-Love Song (Sara Bareilles)
-No One (Alicia Keys)
-Say What You Need To Say (John Mayer) I have A LOT of things to say about this song.
-Disturbia (Rihanna)
-Live Your Life (TI feat. Rihanna)
-Whatever You Like (TI)
-Love In This Club (Usher)
-If I Were A Boy (Beyonce)
-Apologize (One Republic)
-I'm Yours (Jason Mraz)
-Womanizer (Britney Spears)
-Last Name (Carrie Underwood)
-All Summer Long (Kid Rock)
-7 Things (Miley Cyrus)
-Love Story (Taylor Swift)

TV Shows
-The Office
-Gossip Girl (I read the series so it's a little less embarrassing I guess)
-Psych
-So You Think You Can Dance?
-30 Rock
-Reaper (so underrated but so funny)
-Kath and Kim (I know ratings are low so I can't get too attached, but I laugh so much)
-SNL (solid this year, mostly cause of an overdose of politics, but I adore that Kristin Wiig)

Movies
-'I Am Legend' (I screamed, I cried, I laughed, I now own it.)
-'Wall-E' (awesome)
-Iron Man (didn't think I would like it, but it was as good as everyone said)
-Get Smart (because I loved it, and Steve Carrell)
-Hancock (pretty good and action-y haha)
-Be Kind Rewind (this one was so overlooked. it was hilarious.)
-Baby Mama (2 of my favorite SNL ladies together)
-Kung Fu Panda (funny)
-What Happens in Vegas (This one was way better than I ever expected)
-Definitely Maybe (sooo cute)
-The Happening (I KNOW I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT LIKED IT. I am dumb. Typical Deb.)
-Eagle Eye (anything with Shia is especially good, but this one was sooooooo goooooood)
-Marley and Me (I bawled like a baby but I love anything Jennifer Aniston is in)
-Seven Pounds (I thought it was brilliant. It got bad reviews because of it's 'lack of logic' but I prefer more intelligent movies where you have to think for yourself. It was amazing)
-Four Christmases (Reese Witherspoon? Love. Vince Vaughn? Love. The result was HILARITY)

*honorable mention-The Dark Knight (I can't place this with the rest of the movies because I am the LAST PERSON ON EARTH THAT HASN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE. Everyone I knew saw it so when I came around, no one could go with me. Thanks guys).

ALSO. I need to state movies now that I am almost positive will make my list once I get around to seeing them:

*Benjamin Button (even though I hate Brad Pitt)
*Doubt (read the play freshman year, I'm so excited)
*Madagascar 2

ALSO. Movies that I will probably never see but heard great things about:

*Sex and the City
*Twilight
*Pineapple Express
*Tropic Thunder
*Wanted (I hate Angelina Jolie)
*High School Musical 3

ALSO. Movies you should avoid!

*Jumper

ALSO. Movies that I saw that I am ashamed to say I saw and ended up liking:

*House Bunny
*Step Up 2
*Stepbrothers (filthy but funny)
*My Best Friend's Girl (also filthy)




mmmk. done.

My blog

is pretty dead. I apologize. I hardly write anything that really happens in my life. So I'll write a few random details to get you up to date!

-2 new baby cousins were born in my family over Thanksgiving break. One Monday night the 24th, and the other Saturday morning at 5am. I have learned way too much about pregnancy that it is officially the best birth control available. There are WAY too many details I didn't know that I do not like. Bleh. But anyways, I love little ones and am ecstatic that Kaitlyn Marie and William Jace are here :) Kaitlyn is having some problems in the ICU but she should be better. I also got to meet my 21 month old cousin Kaelyn Grace (the sister of William Jace) and hang out with Kellene Rae (the older sister of Kaitlyn). Good times.

-I just finished a 2 week set of antibiodics for my last illness. I went off them YESTERDAY and right now as I'm sitting here, I feel sinus pressure, and swollen lymph glands with a sore throat. I am terrified. I can't fathom this. I don't understand why doctor's say it's just 'college'. I should be able to fight off things. I get lots of sleep for a college student and try to manage my stress.

-I started watching Dancing With The Stars. I know. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. I just started to watch because I was bored and then BAM I was hooked. I love that Julianne Hough though. Too bad she is leaving. Also the season is over so I am not ashamed anymore.

-Black Friday should be a holiday itself. I live for it. That is the ONLY time of year I will happily jump out of bed at 4am to stand in line and buy great things. I love people watching too. This year my big purchase was an mp3 player so I can have all my music in my car finally. It took awhile because I had a 6 cd changer and was sad that it wouldn't get any use. But it will because I have to run the mp3 player through the FM radio which causes static if there is a station there. Not fun. But no other way to do it. Unless you know a way then you should help me. I was looking for a GPS but my freaking sister insisted we go to wal mart first so she could get her camera, and the gps I wanted was at Target. They were sold out when we got there.

-I'm glad Britney is back. Ya, I said it.

-I really want to see Marley and Me (I love Jennifer Aniston!) and Four Christmases (Reese!). I also am really excited for Doubt with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. We read the play my freshman year here at Biola. I actually read something that was assigned and liked it. Good stuff.

-I am trying to get tickets for the last ever showing of Wicked in Los Angeles. I am ridiculous. This is the 5th time I will see it. And the last. I think it will be so amazing to see the last curtain call and everything. I am too obsessed.

-My knee is still giving me trouble. When I fractured my foot, it affected my whole leg and I still have trouble getting up and bending my knee. My foot is totally fine. Weird, I know. I am still hoping it heels on it's own. I don't need physical therapy. I also still need to learn how to do the back handspring in my gymnastics class.

-For Christmas I am hoping for donations for an electric violin. For those who don't know, violin was my life since 5th grade. The only thing I have ever really been good at. I stopped playing after one year in the Biola orchestra. It was just too time consuming. I did keep playing on praise teams at local churches though, until my electric violin broke. I have not played in probably a year now and it kills me. I hope I still can. Anyways, bottom line is I need a new one and it costs a LOT and I really want one ok?

-My work hired a 2nd secretary. She is my mom's age. I started training her today. It is weird to explain things to people when you have been doing it for almost a year and a half on your own. She literally wrote everything I said down. Hilarious. There is so much to know though.

Well, I'm out.

Deb's Life.

My life is ridiculous. But I can only laugh at it. Because I still have it good.

This is my summer and fall semester thus far though:

June-youth retreat in palm springs-stomach flu.
July-junior high camp-severe head cold.
August-Oregon-strep.
September-3rd week of school-strep...again.
October 13th-awful cold.
October 30th-fractured my foot and messed up my knee.
November 15th-flu/possible sinus infection.

The nurse yesterday at the health center asked me 'why don't you ever get a flu shot?'

WHEN AM I EVER WELL ENOUGH TO GET A FLU SHOT?!

Yesterday...

in gymnastics, I did a flip on the trampoline and landed wrong. It hurt really bad and I heard a crack but refused to go to a doctor.

8 hours went by while I was in class and work and I finally decided to go to the emergency room because the pain never went away.

I ended up fracturing my foot up by my toe and get to wear this legit space boot now.

Story of my life.

A lot of change

has happened since my last blog. Which is why I have strayed from posting for a month and a half. Also, the Kelly/Carrie post is not done yet because I am back in school and never have time for it. So be patient, even though most of you could care less haha.

Pretty much the biggest change is that Maddie isn't back at school with me and is never coming back either. But this isn't bad or sad because it is going to be so much better for her in life. It just sucks because a few posts down, you can see how excited I was. But it just reminds you that God is in charge and will surprise you like that. Nothing is certain.

So I am working at getting more involved so I can make more friends. This is not easy because I work more than anyone I know. 20 hours a week with 16 units. I feel like I am never in the dorm. I am however, finally trying out for the dance troupe here that I have been wanting to be a part of for like a year. But let's not get too excited because there are hundreds of people and only 40 spots. And as I look around during rehearsal, everyone is pretty much dancing the same. So unless there is something special about me, which there usually isn't, I am not getting too excited here haha.

I am also dealing with having 8:00am class five days a week. Why would you do this to yourself, you may ask. Let me tell you. It was either that or cut my work hours in half almost. Because if I don't go to class that early, I don't get to work in the afternoons. And because I support myself and a car, I have to be making a certain amount of money. I am not like all the other Biola students who don't have to get jobs because mommy and daddy pay their tuition and give them spending money every month.

Back to the making friends thing though, I am not sure how one accomplishes this. Maybe I am just not very good at it. But last year I would talk to the girls on my floor but we would just have nice brief conversations. I don't know how to get to that point where it's like 'hey come with us to dinner' or whatever. I am really hoping this year is different but I am already pretty sure it's the same because I am just not here enough. They all have their friends already.

I've pretty much given up on the males because of the same reason. I don't even know one at Biola and I've been here 3 years. I went on one gyrad and my date hardly talked to me. Also, going to gyrad means my roommate and I have to find me a date and if we don't know any boys, then it makes our job pretty difficult.

Anyways, my trip to Oregon was great, many good times with Maddie. I had strep the whole first week I was there though. Sometimes I wonder why those things always happen to me. This is how my summer went:

June-youth group retreat in Palm Springs-STOMACH FLU.
July-Hume Lake Jr. High camp-the worst head cold I have ever had.
August-Oregon-STREP.

Seriously. It makes me think that there is something seriously wrong with me. Well if you know my medical history, then I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with me, we just can't find it ha. We didn't get to do so much in Oregon because of my lameness. So now I'm back at Biola and went to the health center because of a small sore on my throat, and guess what I have...STREP. AGAIN. Even though I feel fine. So I have been ordered to not go to class or work. Fine with me.

So I am just trying to keep my head above water, with my 20 hour work week, 16 unit load, lack of friends, strep throat, and financial issues with Biola (I'll be lucky if I get out of here with only $80,000 in loans). Oh did I mention I have to APPLY to the school of education and I need 3 references in less than a month. So that was dumped on me yesterday. Also I declared my concentration in Math so I am in Calculus again and already feel like the biggest idiot ever. It's the most frustrating feeling in the world to not be able to do something that is so concrete. So since this is the first class in my Math concentration, I don't know how I am going to do fine in it and then proceed to the HIGHER classes. But I'm not good at anything else. Which is why I am a teaching major, but let's not talk about that right now.

Anyways, my mom really really really wants me to move home. Bridgette is at Point Loma now so I think it's weird for her to be alone. But she says she is just really worried about my health, and now that Maddie isn't here she's even more worried for my emotional state. She is always persuading me because I could transfer home and finish my degree for only $17000 which is a third of the cost it would take me to finish here. I don't understand why she wants me to move home. I think it's because her health is falling apart and she doesn't have anyone there. But she doesn't realize that all those years of her telling me what a burden I was have taken a toll. The last thing I want to do is move home. I hate that house, even though that's where I grew up. I have built myself so much here, it kills me to leave behind my job, BIOLA (I do love it most the time), my awesome youth group friends, and my Biola friends. Although I would have my Visalia friends back, I don't think it would be enough. I think it would be a step backwards.